


To Ease My Mind

by jill_ian



Category: Actor RPF, Martin and Lewis, Martin and Lewis RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, shamefully fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 00:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18377207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jill_ian/pseuds/jill_ian
Summary: Dean's exhausted, but Jerry has a plan.





	To Ease My Mind

Dean was pretty confused when Jerry darted out of their dressing room after the show without so much as a word.

No. He had been confused that time Jerry put his clothes on backwards and left the room without acknowledging it. He had strolled casually through the crowd, stopping to make conversation with every person he could between them and the car, trying to wring the gag out for every laugh it was worth even though they’d just gotten hours of laughter performing.

Dean could be as erratic as they come, but there were still times Jerry managed to surprise him.

Tonight had been a little different than that.

The moment the show ended, Jerry ran off stage, threw his clothes on, and ran out the door. He hadn’t even noticed his tie still thrown over the chair or his newsboy cap laying on the vanity.

Dean was downright _suspicious._

Despite the intrigue, Dean didn’t follow his lead, choosing instead to take his time in getting dressed, not in any particular rush to go anywhere or interact with anyone. He was beyond exhausted from the never-ending haul of shows they’d been doing recently. They were flying high and he was always grateful that so many clubs were begging to book them; there was no way to take that as anything other than a compliment.

But the constant ache in his tired muscles and the seemingly permanent dark circles under his eyes told him he was losing steam. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a night off or the last time he’d gotten more than four hours worth of sleep. Fatigue had never been a problem when they were booked like this in short bursts, but here they were going on week eleven and he’d never been so tired in his entire life.

Of course, the only person who knew it was Jerry, who he’d accidentally told the other night after they’d opted not to go out after their shows. Dean had barely been considering it to begin with, but his decision was positively sealed when, just moments before they walked on stage, Jerry leaned in close and whispered every single thing he intended to do if they went back to the hotel to be alone. He would be goddamned if he was going to go to another club instead of making sure Jerry kept his promises.

Afterwards, Jerry had been lying at his side, chin pillowed on his bare chest as he ran his fingers lazily over Dean’s collarbone, looking up at him with bright, affectionate eyes. Dean’s own eyelids had begun to feel very, very heavy and he let them fall shut, sleep knocking sincerely at his door.

“Lookin’ awful sleepy there, Paul,” Jerry said, breaking their silence.

“Mhm,” he hummed, tipping his head to nod just slightly.

“Y’think maybe you’re losing your touch?”

Dean cracked his eyes open to find Jerry smirking at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We used to be able to go all night and here you are getting knocked out at the end of round one.”

“Don’t see you standin’ up for round two.” Jerry snorted at the innuendo. “Far as losin’ my touch goes, I don’t got anything to worry about.”

Jerry quirked a playful eyebrow at him. “Says who?”

It was Dean’s turn to smile now. “The noises you were making speak for themselves.”

“That’s not fair.” Jerry gave his chest a hard pinch, trying to pout, but unable to push down a laugh.

“Sometimes you gotta play a little dirty, baby.” Dean reached out to run his hand over the hair at the back of Jerry’s head, the short strands tickling his palm. “You’re right though.”

“About what?” he asked, curious.

“M’exhausted.”

“I could tell.” Jerry resumed tracing at the smooth line of his collarbone. “You look like you could fall asleep standing up.”

“I just might,” Dean admitted, eyes falling lazily to Jerry’s lips. “I’m running out of gas real bad.”

“Me too, but just think,” Jerry said, hand wandering up to push back the curls that had fallen loose over his forehead. “We’ve only got twelve more days left and then we’re free two whole weeks.”

Dean leaned into his touch. “You might be carrying me home by the time we get there.”

“My arms are out. All’s you gotta do is collapse.”

Dean shook the memory from his mind as he put on his jacket, throwing Jerry’s tie over his shoulder, angling the forgotten cap on his head, and walking out of the dressing room. He half expected to find Jerry out by the bar. When he wasn’t there, he thought maybe he’d be waiting somewhere out back by the car.

No such luck. Not even a note to let him know where he might be.

Dean made it all the way to their hotel and up to their room without so much as a single sign of him. He stopped at the door of their suite for a moment, rifling through his messy pockets for his key when the sound of music on the other side caught his ear, as did the low hum of Jerry singing quietly to himself.

His chest tightened with that familiar, welcomed ache as he shoved his key into the lock and pushed the door open.

Across the room, Jerry was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, facing away. But the moment Dean had the door open far enough to see in, Jerry’s head whipped towards him, looking like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Dean couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Better put your hands up, pally. We got the place surrounded.”

Jerry ignored him. “What’re you doin’ here?” he asked, eyes wide.

“This is our room, ain’t it?”

“Yeah, but how’d you get back so fast?”

“Had some help from my friend, Mister Automobile,” Dean laughed, taking off his jacket as he moved further into the room, throwing it on the bed along with Jerry’s tie and cap. “Any chance you know him?”

“Can’t say I do.”

“Guess I’ll have to introduce ya sometime.”

Jerry hadn’t moved a single muscle since Dean had walked in. He stood in the bathroom doorway with his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and a decent sized wet patch on his slacks at the thigh.

Dean’s eyebrows pinched together as his fingers worked at undoing the top few buttons of his shirt. “What were you doin’ anyhow?”

“Nothing.” He spoke too quickly.

“Yeah, okay.” Dean laughed again. “You obviously got something cookin’ in there or else you would’ve come over here by now.”

Jerry’s eyes dropped to the floor and he pursed his lips, embarrassed at being caught and obviously trying to think of what he should do about it. Dean just let him take his time as he sat down on the bed and untied his shoes, content to let the sound of Harry James on the record player fill the empty air between them.

When he finished with his shoes, he looked up and found that Jerry had been watching him. He was leaning with his shoulder against the doorframe, hands stuffed in his pockets and his head titled attractively in Dean’s direction. Just looking. Dean felt his pulse speed up at the sight.

Then, suddenly, Jerry was speaking. “C’mere.” 

“Where?” He asked, playing dumb.

“In here, you dope.” He made a slight motion with his head towards the bathroom. “Before I take it back.”

Dean chuckled as he stood and walked past him. Jerry pivoted, giving him space and only changing his position as much as he had to in order to face the bathroom now, very much mirroring the way he’d been standing before.

The smell hit Dean before anything else, something clean and fresh and slightly sweet and when he saw their claw-foot bathtub, topped with a thin layer of fading bubbles tinted a light shade of purple, he was unable to keep an amused smile from pulling at his lips.

“That’s what you were hiding?” He asked and Jerry shrugged his shoulders. “So you wanna take a bath. Since when’s that a big secret?”

Jerry ducked his head, temple coming to touch the wall. “Since it’s not for me.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“S’for you.”

“For me?”

Jerry shrugged again. “Well when we were talkin’ the other night, you were telling me how spent you were from working so much and I thought, you know,” he gestured with his chin towards the bath, “it could be nice or somethin’.”

Dean eyed the tub and watched the steam as it rose. The sight alone was enough to warm him, tempting him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He took a moment to consider, but between the pleasant smell, which he now knew was lavender after eyes had caught the bottle on the floor next the bath, the music, and the way Jerry was standing there looking so unsure of himself, it wasn’t a difficult decision to make.

“Okay.”

The smile that lit up Jerry’s face was slow, but blinding, like he was trying to hold it in and very clearly failing. “Okay?” He asked, almost like he didn’t believe it.

“Okay,” Dean repeated, feeling his own smile grow.

His hands went to the buttons of his shirt and Jerry finally walked further into the room, sitting down at the head of the tub, folding his legs beneath him. He crossed his arms over the edge of the tub and rested his head against them, waiting patiently. When Dean got his shirt completely open, he let it fall from his shoulders to the floor before moving to undo his pants, removing them and his boxers easily.

He knew Jerry was watching him again, could see in his peripheral vision that Jerry’s head was turned in his direction, cheek pillowed against his arms, but it didn’t make him squirm. He was barely self-conscious to begin with and even less so under Jerry’s eyes.

He knew there weren’t many feelings better than knowing you were wanted.

And Jerry certainly let him know how much he was wanted.

Once he was finished, clothes in a pile at his feet, he walked over to the tub and paused, eyeing the soapy water.

Jerry let out a small laugh at his delay. “Did that spark plug upstairs come undone again?”

Dean ignored the comment, his hesitant eyes finding Jerry’s. “Do I just…get in?”

His smile was teasing. “I know other people think you’re slick, but I know what you’re about. You can act like you’ve done this before.”

Dean blinked hard, chewing the inside of his cheek. “But what if I haven’t?”

Jerry’s jaw dropped slightly, hanging open and useless as he racked his brain for something to say. “You never took a bubble bath?” Dean shook his head and something in Jerry’s gaze softened. “Yeah, you can just climb in.”

Dean stepped in slowly, giving himself a moment to adjust to the heat before sitting down and settling back, the warm water prickling pleasantly at his skin. The soothing smell was even more soothing up close and with one deep breath, he could already feel his heart rate slowing.

“Y’okay?” Jerry asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded, comfortable beyond words. He’d only been in a few seconds, but if he didn’t know any better, he’d say his mind felt quieter, calmer somehow.

He heard a rustling behind him that gave away that Jerry was shifting and before he could wonder what he was up to, Jerry’s hands were on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into his tight muscles. Dean’s head fell forward, chin almost touching his chest.

“Fuck, Jer,” he sighed, the words tumbling effortlessly from his mouth.

Jerry hesitated, hands easing up just slightly. “This alright?”

“God yeah.” 

“Good.” He could hear the smile lifting Jerry’s voice.

Dean closed his eyes as Jerry continued, biting his top lip to keep from making more noise. Jerry was humming along with the music and he tried to focus his mind on that, holding in every gasp he felt threatening to give him away.

He struggled especially hard when Jerry found a knot along the line of shoulder blade, pushing against it in such a way that all the air rushed from his lungs. He caught a moan in the back of his throat before it could make its way out, teeth digging so hard into his lip that he was surprised it didn’t draw blood.

Jerry’s hands slowed until they were still and he leaned forward, holding onto Dean’s shoulders and pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

“Scoot forward a second.” Dean did so without thinking, tucking his knees in close to his chest. He waited there a second until Jerry said, “Tilt your head back a little.” And he did, holding onto the edges of the tub and tilting back just before his head hit the water, exposing the long line of his neck.

He felt the ripples against his back when Jerry reached into the water behind him and before he knew it, Jerry was using cupped hands to run water over his hair. Goosebumps rose on Dean’s skin as Jerry repeated the action a few times, trying his best to be completely thorough, making sure to wet every possible strand. Dean just continued to breathe, the falling droplets loud in his ears, drowning out the music.

Jerry’s voice was soft when he spoke again. “You can move back now.”

He shifted, arms once again down at his sides and his back against the edge of the tub. He heard the telltale clicks of Jerry opening and closing a bottle and before he knew it, Jerry’s hands were in his hair.

His head fell back as he groaned, deep and low and so completely out of his control that he was almost embarrassed.

His entire body felt like it was tingling as Jerry worked the shampoo in slowly, hands massaging smoothly and fingers rubbing soft circles on his scalp. Dean wasn’t sure when his eyes had fallen shut again, but he could see stars, bright and beautiful behind his eyelids while he lost himself to Jerry’s touch, no longer tentative, but strong and sure and absolutely perfect in his movements. Every so often another sigh would fall from his lips, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

It felt entirely too good to care.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been when one of Jerry’s hands moved to his shoulder, giving it a testing squeeze. “Move forward again?” He asked, voice a soothing rumble in his ear.

Dean did so, again pulling his knees up to his chest, putting his hands around the edge of the bath, and tilting back before Jerry even had to ask, chin angled up. Jerry began to try and work the shampoo out, cupped hands once again scooping water up, fingers running through his hair and nails scraping gently at his scalp, taking care in keeping the water and shampoo away from his eyes. A shiver ran up Dean’s spine and he swallowed hard, feeling a sudden tremble pull at the muscles in his arms, threatening to make him lose his grip and slip backwards. His hands tightened around the tub.

When Jerry was satisfied that all the shampoo was out, he used his hand to give the back of his head a gentle nudge. Dean understood the signal and sat all the way up, pausing when he got there and waiting for Jerry to tell him what to do next.

From behind him, Jerry’s hand reached over his shoulder and stopped on his chest just below his throat, palm resting flat and applying slight pressure, wordlessly letting him know he could shift backwards again. Dean did just that, letting the easy pressure guide him, and Jerry’s hand slid down along his chest as he shifted until his back hit porcelain.

Before he could sink all the way down into the water, Jerry leaned forward, resting his nose in the curve of his neck and Dean stopped dead in his tracks. Jerry’s other arm followed suit of the first, going over his other shoulder and looping around his front, hands meeting, clasped loosely over his ribs, forearms completely submerged in the water.

Any of and all of his remaining tension completely melted away with Jerry’s arms around him, pressed close like there was nowhere on earth he’d rather be. The material of Jerry’s shirt was rough and heavy against his damp skin and his breaths were soothing and even on his neck, lulling him into an even deeper state of calm. As perfect as this was, and he did savor the embrace for a long few minutes, he knew there was only one more thing that could happen to make all of this even better and his heart stuttered at the idea.

Dean angled his head back so his cheek was touching the side of Jerry’s hair. “Jer?”

He could feel Jerry’s smile spread against his skin. “Yeah?”

“When are you gonna get in here?” Dean asked softly.

“I don’t know.” His lips tickled Dean’s neck as he spoke. “Was just gonna shower when you were done.”

Dean laughed at the innocence of the response. “Glad you wanna get clean, but that’s not what I’m sayin’.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean turned his head so his lips were brushing Jerry’s ear. “Want you in here.”

Jerry’s breath hitched. “With you?”

“Don’t see anybody else, do ya?”

A quiet laugh rumbled through his chest. “No.”

“Then what’re you waiting for?” He whispered, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to the shell of his ear. He felt Jerry’s arms tighten around him.

“Nothin’,” he said. “It’s just that I did this so _you_ could relax. Not me.”

“And I am,” he conceded. “But what if I told you I might be even more relaxed with you sittin’ in front of me instead of all the way back there?”

“Guess I’d have to think about it then.” Jerry’s eyelashes fluttered against Dean’s neck as he considered the idea, but not for long.

He moved backwards, leaving Dean cold and alone and slightly curious until he heard the jingle of Jerry unbuckling his belt and the swoosh of his clothes hitting the floor. He couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips.

Butterflies swirled low in his stomach as he adjusted, clearing space in front of him for Jerry to sit down, knees on either side of the tub. It was only a moment before Jerry stepped in and sat between his legs, displacing some of the water and sending it spilling onto the floor.

They both pretended not to notice.

Jerry settled comfortably against Dean’s chest and Dean wrapped his arms around him, hands coming to rest somewhere over his stomach. Jerry wasted no time in covering Dean’s hands with his own, intertwining their fingers with ease.

It was a natural position they’d often fall into after a long day or a hard night.

The first time it happened, Dean’s heart had leapt into his throat. He’d been lounging on the bed in one of their many hotel rooms, relaxing and watching a western to take his mind off the pressures of daily life, sitting with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out long in front of him.

Jerry stumbled into the room after having spent all day writing at the studio, trying to work out some kinks in a script that he was having tremendous difficulty with. There was an exhausted frown set so deeply in his features that Dean could see it in his eyes, could hear it in the way he sighed, frustrated as he struggled to pull his shoes off his feet.

Dean held his breath as Jerry crawled across the bed and pushed his legs apart, wasting no time in sitting between them and leaning back, flush against Dean’s chest. He put his hands over Dean’s and began to bring them closer, but Dean caught on quickly as to what he was asking for and took over the motion of putting his arms around him, resting their clasped hands over his torso.

Jerry took a long breath in, releasing it with a deep sigh that Dean could not only see, but also feel beneath his hands and along his chest.

“Y’alright?” Dean asked, breaking the silence that they had been enveloped in since Jerry entered the room.

Jerry snuggled back against him as he nodded. “Better now.”

Dean was as distracted now as he had been then by the way Jerry felt, a warm weight, solid and sure in front of him, and he was almost startled when Jerry gave his hands a light squeeze. “Better now?” Jerry asked, reminiscent of that very first time.

“Mhm,” he hummed, smile spreading across his lips as Jerry tilted his head back, temple resting against Dean’s cheek. “Perfect.”

He hadn’t known he’d fallen asleep until Jerry shook him some time later, the water around them lukewarm and free of any remaining suds. He wasn’t even sure his eyes were open as Jerry helped pull him up out of the tub and dried them off, or as he took his hand and walked him over to the bed, neither thinking to suggest they get dressed.

He all but fell into the bed and Jerry followed his lead, pulling the covers up and over them, separated by a mere few inches of space.

Dean knew he should say something, anything that would express his overwhelming gratitude for everything Jerry had done for him tonight, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so, not wanting words to cut into the sleepy air that surrounded them.

He chose instead to tuck his arm beneath Jerry’s shoulders and pull him closer. Jerry wasted no time in curling into his side, draping an arm across his middle and tangling a leg between his.

He waited a careful second, but when he was sure Jerry had settled, he used his free hand to hook his forefinger beneath Jerry’s chin, slowly angling his head up so that he could kiss him. It was little more than a lazy drag of their lips against each other, but it didn’t stop that heat from spreading low in Dean’s stomach, nor did it stop Jerry‘s breath from catching when Dean used the pad of his thumb to brush his cheek in easy sweeps, just a gentle caress across smooth skin.

He hoped to everything that Jerry knew what he was doing and what he was trying to say.

And in the way Jerry ducked his head when they broke apart, bashful and earnest, resting his forehead against Dean’s lips, his fears evaporated. Jerry understood exactly what the kiss meant and knew exactly what Dean wanted to say.

_Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, shamefully fluffy. But I really hope you liked it!! Stay tuned for more 
> 
> As always, find me at holdenduckfield.tumblr.com


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